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They say it comes in threes. - Dorky Little Secret
She-Dork is back. Protect your fragile sensibilities.
dorky_secret
dorky_secret
They say it comes in threes.

Well, that was an adventure.

I have had a hellish couple of weeks, y'all.

First, getting the skin cancer removed was really terrifying.  I have never had any kind of surgery before and they just used local anesthetic so I was awake for the whole procedure and holy fuck, I thought I was going to die.  I haven't really been able to talk about everything that happened that day; if I do ever get the courage to do so I will make sure and put it behind a cut (oh how fucking ironic) so that those of you who do not care to read about gore and carnage will not have to.  But things didn't stop there.

The day after my surgery was my supervisor's last day at work.  I wasn't able to go in; I couldn't move without the feeling that my stitches were going to pull out.  This was probably for the best since I was still kind of crying sporadically when I remembered what happened during the surgery.  I was also really sad that my supervisor was leaving because he and I had an almost instantaneous rapport from the first time we met.  Fortunately he's not leaving town or anything so I can still see him and his awesome wife from time to time.  But still, it was the second traumatic thing.

However, seven days after they removed the Basal cell, and six days after my supervisor left, the third and most horrible thing happened:  My cat Rory died.

Now, I knew she was going to go soon.  She was 18 years old this year.  She had been losing weight over the past month or so and she had stopped grooming herself over the past couple of weeks.  But still, I'd had her since she was eight weeks old and I was absolutely overcome with grief when she went.  There's nothing, really, to prepare a person for that kind of loss.  I am very lucky in that this is the first time someone really close to me has died.  Still, when I found her and realized she was dead, I then found myself sitting on the floor all of a sudden.  I did not decide to sit down; the shock just knocked me to my ass.  That's one of the memories I will always have because there's never been anything that made me just go down like that before.  I didn't fall; I just sat down.  Maybe somehow I knew that if I didn't sit down that I would have fallen over.

Lots of things happened that weekend, some good and some bad.  I had lots of realizations about love and loss.  (That was good.)  I had a cigarette or two.  (That was REALLY good.)  (Er...I mean BAD.  That was BAAAAAAD.)  I am glad it was Memorial Day weekend so that I had an extra day to cry.  I am still dealing with lingering pain when I realize she's not around but I am mainly back to normal.  It will take a long time for me to get over her death; the other cats are still kind of freaked out too.  It hit Jesse later on; he stayed strong when I found her because he was scared that I was really going to lose my shit.  All in all, I didn't lose it as much as I thought I would.  I always thought I would have to be institutionalized for a week or so when one of the cats died but that didn't happen.

So anyway, that was May.

In related news: FUCK YOU, MAY.

Maybe June will be better.

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Comments
(Deleted comment)
dorky_secret From: dorky_secret Date: June 4th, 2007 11:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for the sympathy. Maybe I can tell you the gory details of my surgery over a pedicure pretty soon...
luciab From: luciab Date: June 3rd, 2007 04:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Damn, you weren't kidding with the hellish. I'm so sorry about your cat. I have lost one cat that I was really crazy about, and it's awful. I'm glad you have Jesse there. Hugs.
dorky_secret From: dorky_secret Date: June 4th, 2007 11:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks; it is awful. I am just lucky that I had her for so long. She was a sweet girl...
(Deleted comment)
dorky_secret From: dorky_secret Date: June 4th, 2007 11:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Dude, I am glad the cancer is gone, too. That whole episode was so scary. Makes me wish I had gone through my Debbie-Gibson-hat-phase for much longer than I did. I'm still trying to find a good hat to wear. I'd like one with small ears on it but those kind are usually in the infants' department, you know?
manathe From: manathe Date: June 7th, 2007 06:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Holy crap. Holy crap holy crap holy crap. I'm so glad you're recovering from all of that awful... awfulness. Give the other kitties extra lovin'.
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